The Day Everyone Went OOC
by The Sarcastic Polar Bear
Summary: A giggling Foreman, Kutner the Killer, a cookie-crazed Thirteen, and all sorts of chaos stirs PPTH. Who is the only normal one? Crack fic.


**I am on a writing rampage today! I don't own any of the House gang. This is my first crack fic!**

It was like any normal day at PPTH:

Foreman opened a file. He screamed at the sight of the patient's photo. They looked like a freakin' hobo! A rabid hobo to be exact! He slammed it shut and slowly opened it again. He let out another scream and ran like mad to get out of the room. The photo lay on the floor. Foreman hid behind the curtain and trembled in fear.

Kutner was really pissed off. He opened his pocket and drew out a six-inch knife. He laughed evilly and ran down the hall, holding the knife over his head and holding his head up high. He received stares and shrugs from a few people, but most found it normal that a 26 year old man was running around a hospital, laughing a cruel laugh as he waved a knife around. He snuck up behind a man . . .

Thirteen was hungry. She refused to eat anything. The only thing she would eat was a cookie. She found none in the men's bathroom, none in the women's, none in the diagnostic room, none in House's office, nor Wilson or Cuddy's. She would never look in the cafe, what idiot kept food in a cafe?

Wilson was way too clean after his shower. He stomped outside, swearing loudly. He sat on the muddy grass. What dummy sat on a bench? Wilson wanted to go back inside, but was too lazy to. He scooted along on his butt, gathering mud. He giggled at the filthiness of his pants and lay on his back, rolling around as he chuckled merrily.

Cameron chased a fly through the hospital. It was so sexy! The fly, not the hospital. Cameron followed it into a patient's room. The patient began to have a seizure, and flat-lined. Cameron only cared about making out with the fly. She lunged herself at it, and kissed it, sucking it down her throat. She cursed as she swallowed it. She ran to the emergency room to get it out. "HELP! I'M GONNA DIE! AHHH! I SWALLOWED A SEXY FLY! HELPPPP!" she screamed.

House was trying to fix the bed Cuddy had broken. She was doing. . . "something." And the bed had crashed, falling feet below. House shrieked as it collapsed. He kicked it and beat it with a hammer, yelling an Indian war cry and beating his chest. He grabbed a bed post and ran to tomahawk someone.

Back to Foreman. He was reading an upside down magazine and giggling. He clapped his hands and bounced up and down. He looked up to see Thirteen giving him a death glare. "Funny bookie!" Foreman squealed, holding it up.

"Where are the cookies?" Thirteen asked coldly.

"IDK!" Foreman said snootily.

"Since when do you talk text language?" Thirteen yelled. Foreman shrieked in giggles.

"IDK!" he repeated. He threw the book at the young woman and beat her with it and giggled the whole time. Thirteen screamed and beat him with a TV remote. Foreman was high on Kool-Aid and giggled his head off. Literally. Thirteen picked up the giggling head and put it in the trash. Foreman's severed head continued to laugh in a shrill tone. Thirteen yelled once more for her cookies.

"IDK where they are," he giggled. Thirteen flounced away. "KK, TTYL!" Foreman called. Thirteen screamed in disgust and went to find Taub. Taub was trying to eat a newspaper. He looked at Thirteen and shrugged.

"Okay, Shorty, tell me where the cookies are!" Thirteen demanded.

"I dunno, dude," Taub said. "Or dudette," he flirted. He continued to chew his newspaper. He was wearing bling and acting like he was all that. Thirteen took a flying tackle at him, knocking him on the ground. "Woah, not cool, chickie!" Taub scolded.

"What did you do to my cookies?" Thirteen wailed. She screamed as Taub shoved her through a hole he drilled in the floor.

No, Kutner has not been forgotten. He laughed as the man hit the floor, dead. Kutner hurled his knife at a woman, killing her within a second. He kicked her chest and smirked at the blood on his shoes. He stabbed six random people, and popped a little girl's balloon. He was no longer pissed and said he was sorry and wiped the blood off with his tie.

Wilson had worn his clothes through and now wore only his ducky boxers. He was chase by fangirls, and was cuddled with and locked in a closet with a teddy bear and a kitten and a puppy. The puppy bit Wilson's butt.

During this, Chase was hiding in the shower, writing all of this down. Yes. Chase was the one who put drugs in everyone's food to make them high. It was a normal day, but everyone went OOC.


End file.
